Saturday, 13 April 2013

Childhood affects adulthood: This is my take on what it takes to help children feel whole

Whew! That was exciting! I was just interviewed for a radio show called The Incredible Breakthrough Show. Bob Miller from San Diego, California is the host. We talked about my book "Why am I Perfect?" and about my new Forensic Healing venture. I had prepared notes on stuff I wanted to talk about but we didn't really get to go there so as a follow-up to the interview, here is my take on what it takes to help children feel whole and yes, I do talk about whole foods:

I’ll start with two words: healthy habits. I like natural approaches to dealing with stress and challenging situations. Breathing is miraculous, so is exercise. Our bodies are incredible machines doing incredible things at every incredible moment! We need to fuel them with clean fuel. That means clean wholesome food, air and water.

I often remind myself to breathe more deeply. It is an amazing tool and there are all sorts of breathing techniques that you can mix with yoga, meditation and so on. Children should be told all the time that water is good for them because it helps their cells talk to each other, which helps their brain talk to their heart, their eyes talk to their legs, etc. My spouse teaches martial arts and I love watching him explain to six year olds the importance of breathing, he explains it like putting gas in the car. You need it to survive and you need a good supply of oxygen to feel good.
Avoiding sugar, artificial ingredients and even colorings can help keep emotions remain stable and real. There is more scientific research now linking things like autism, ADHD , allergies and depression to diets high in sweetners, chemicals and genetically modified organisms, this includes all wheat and most of the corn and soy available, unfortunately. There is no doubt in my mind that we all need to get away from eating processed foods. Whole foods like raw colourful bell peppers and dark green vegetables and raw nuts like almonds should really be at the base of everyone’s diet. That being said, I also believe that we need to, as responsible adults and parents especially, stop believing what everybody tells us and feel free to make our own health related decisions without always running to the doctor’s for drugs. Bob and I know a gentleman in Utah, he calls himself Dr. Gramps who relies on natural, good quality essential oils as his pharmacy to keep himself and his family healthy. We literally have so much information available at our fingertips to make decisions.  Instant cereal we call pablum here, I think is not the ideal starter food for a baby but people will look at you cross-eyed when you say you don’t give it to your child. Avocado, hemp, chia seeds, pears and bananas are way healthier, in my opinion.  

When I go grocery shopping with my children sitting in the cart, I have them name the fruits and veggies as I select them, I teach my sons that these are the most important foods, I repeat it to them every time we go and we have fun! Just like any other belief that will be drilled into their heads, I aim to give them helpful information that will serve them in the long run. This education can start very early and it’s never too late to change some non-productive beliefs either. 

Another tool we can all play with is visualization. If you haven’t seen it, I encourage you to watch Dr. WayneDyer’s PBS special on you tube, it lasts about one hour. He explains why the imagination is the greatest gift we have. I only started recently trying to imagine, before I go to sleep, trying to imagine people I love being in bubbles of white light, to send them blessings and strength to get through whatever challenges they are experiencing and every time, it is different, I start with the same intention but I see different colors, textures, shapes depending who I am trying to visualize. I find it fascinating and it feels good to send blessings this way.  

I want to raise my children so they feel grateful too, and generally cared for. When we eat eggs, I’ll tell them they come from chickens so we’ll say thank you out loud to the chickens and to the farmers. With older children you can make it a game to name all of the people involved in making your meal possible. You’ll be surprised to hear what they can come out with. You’re eating homemade pizza but you’ll thank the tomato growers and those who put the sauce in the can, and the people who invented machines for the cans and truck drivers. You can even bring the conversation to the point of saying that people everywhere produce things to help us, for us to be healthy, and that it is done out of love even if we don’t know each other. This can help children to feel secure in the world. 

I’m a strong believer in leading by example so obviously if I don’t want my children to use foul language, I don’t use it around them. But this is true also when it comes to relationships; I want to show them what harmonious relationships are, by making sure I speak respectfully of other people. If you want yours to have high feelings of self worth and self esteem, be positive and only offer constructive criticism. Show them that you have healthy boundaries by saying no when you have to, to them AND to other people.

Coming back to language for a moment, we have a 11 year old boy, my step son Benjamin, who lives with us. We encourage him to speak well, in French and in English, to articulate, to ask questions properly, because we want him to have the capacity to express himself clearly, ask for what he needs and be confident. I’m certain this has a positive impact on the language development of my toddler and 1 year old as well.

Another thing to do so they grow up confident is allowing them to make choices. Lucas recently regressed with his potty training. We were at a point where we could travel to the daycare without him wearing a diaper but after a couple of weeks, he started to pee as soon as I left the daycare and wet his clothes. It seems to me that this regression is due to some separation anxiety. I decided to give him the choice in the morning, diaper or underwear and he’s been choosing the diaper consistently. I respect his choice and I think that by doing this, he feels respected and less anxious. When he uses the potty, which is most of the time, we applaud him with nice words and gestures so he is happy with himself.
During the interview we talked about Forensic Healing a lot but I didn't take the time to explain how Forensic Healing can help children:
Healing occurs when we set crystal clear intentions; this is true for healing ourselves and healing others. To heal, we have to want to heal. Babies want to feel better when they are sick so that willingness is there. Parents do it all of the time when they address a fear by talking about it truthfully and not ignoring or dismissing it. Like Lucas' example illustrates above, many physical symptoms can arise from stress. Often children can't tell you that they are stressed and something like bed wetting or chronic ear infections shows up. The Forensic Healing protocol allows me to tap into the source of the problem, even with children too young to speak.
Forensic Healing sessions last about 60 minutes, my current rate is $70. E-mail me to learn more or to book an appointment:
Listen to the interview to benefit from the meditation and to learn how to access my special offers:
  • $20 off Forensic Healing sessions 
  • Obtain a dedicated copy of Why Am I Perfect? signed, dedicated and with shipping paid for by... me!
Love & Light